Private investigators, private detectives, for investigation to assist in spouse abuse suspicion inquiries phone 1300 966 103, for 24/7 contact you can email us at [email protected], free quotes, discretion assured. Domestic violence, and abusive relationships, are not always visible from the outside.

Some partners actually work hard to hide the injuries, and offer up other excuses to explain the incident. Some woman are always meticulously made up, with deep makeup, whenever they leave the house, as a way of avoiding questions. Some men would rather die than admit they are being abused by their wife, as it is unmanly to be dominated and abused by a woman. Domestic violence can be an insidious thing, that exists only within four walls, with a veneer of respectability plastered over the relationship when in public.

Abusive relationships are not always easily observed from the outside. They are not always about men abusing woman as the stereotype would have you believe. Abuse takes many forms, including emotional, verbal, physical or sexual. They are all about power, this power is demonstrated as control; this is now known as coercive control. Coercive control can be by either sex. For domestic violence complaints the complainant may also be the one who uses coercive control, and is using the court as an extension of that.

Very few relationships, unless you include Bondage, S&M type relationships start out as abusive. A small fraction of girlfriend boyfriend relationships are abusive, from the start. That one party accepts the abuse is an indication of low self esteem. The two I mentioned earlier, bondage and S & M, have one party ceding power to the other in an accepting relationship.

Whilst this may appear abhorant to some, and unbelievable to others, it would appear to be true. On the internet you will see sites devoted to master/slave relationships with submissive persons advertising for a new 'master' and masters seeking slaves to collar. Where one person gives submission, rather than has it forced upon them, then this is not abuse.

Within the 'normal' parameters of society this is considered an aberration. Of course most of us are still searching for that 'average' person. In previous societies, and some modern religious societies, there are different perceptions of normal right, between men and women.

In a normal relationship power, or control, is taken and given over certain area's. In the stereotypical relationship the mother and father have 'roles'. These roles give them power over certain area's. When a partnership is formed, such as a marriage, there is often a period of power struggle, and adjustment, in the first 12 months, as the parties attempt to work out who holds the decision making power over an area of their lives.

In normal relationship, including good marriages, you may see one party appears 'subserviant' to the other in certain areas. Quite often it is the female, especially in the once common scenario of a male who goes out and works, and a female who stays home and works as the care giver, school volunteer and social glue of the relationship. This goes against the grain of the modern feminist, however, it is just another model within the 'norm' that works. The big difference is that that this model works by mutual agreement, not force.

In an abusive relationship it generally means one party has had their power and control taken from them, not given as in the above discussions. They are characterised by things such as control games (head games), violence, jealousy, threats, removal or withholding of 'things' one party enjoys, the withholding of sex and emotional contact, as well as forced sex. Children, or access to children, may be used as a weapon.

An emotionally abusive partner is harder to pin point. Woman are far more skilled at this than men. Males tend to try and put their argument as logical; females tend to use more emotive arguements. An emotional abuser may make their partner think they aren't good enough, use 'put down' language, assign blame to the partner when things go wrong and keep the partner in a state of low self esteem and depression.

They may manipulate conditions to reduce their partners 'worth'. They gain their power from the other persons lows. The partner with the low self esteem is unlikely to fight back when pinned in this position. Sometimes it is done without the oppressed partners conscious knowledge, manipulation, isolation, over a long period of time. It may be that their partner teaches the children, family, that the other partners family is 'shit', that things the other partner likes are 'shit', that their choices are 'shit', Repeated long enough this becomes ingrained.                                                                                                                                                                                          Page 2